Attending conferences are funny. It’s the one situation where regardless of gender, everyone gets to know what it feels like to be an objectified woman – because there’s a tendency for people to first stare at your chest before looking at your face. Name, title, affiliation, then eye contact, “Oh, hi.”
Producers want to meet funders. Directors want to meet Producers. Playwrights and designers want to meet Directors. Actors, well, they just want to meet anyone who’ll pay them any mind. And if you’re an individual artist with no organizational backing, you had better smile a lot and introduce yourself first.
The problem I have with titles is they cannot possibly identify whom it is I really want to be speaking with. How could I want anything from anybody according to some superficial position? I’m a cultural worker, lecturer, workshop facilitator, performer, writer, marketing strategist, businessman, and board member. One day, I hope to accumulate surplus funds to also become an investor for other people’s creative projects and ventures. And connecting my many roles is the fact that I am a values- and mission-driven individual.
As in any gathering, all that business card swapping won’t get you anywhere if shared principles aren’t firmly established to start with. When I meet people at networking events, my burning curiosity isn’t: What can you do for me? It is: What are you passionate about? So, I see a potential partnership with everyone.
Best of all, because of this, I get to relax and really enjoy myself at these schmooze-fests. It’s tiresome having to decrypt some totally ridiculous pecking order, especially knowing full well that we all start and end the same way. Not to be morbid but do you really think your rotting corpse is going to look prettier than mine at the end of the day? I’m just saying. It doesn’t hurt to have to be present for and be nice to all people, regardless of rank.
What I care about… If you want professional development and artist survival for all, if you know the importance of resource-sharing, wealth-building, and skill-building, if you observe personal responsibility and you commit to your own sense of word, if you practice The Golden Rule, if you value your health, if you believe we live in a friendly universe, if you express thanks regularly, then I don’t really care what’s on your badge – Game on, fellow hustler. That’s the great benefit of knowing when we’re of the same ilk. We will be able to truly help one another over the duration of a lifetime. Our connection has a chance to grow beyond the fleeting details of any one-time elevator pitch.
However, I do get it, we are all human so I’m sure you’ll still ogle at my chest. “Hey, my eyes are up here, buddy.” Just know that I’ve got a lot more going on than what can possibly be conveyed through the inked up paper-rectangle peering back at you from the vinyl window dangling at the end of an ultimately uncool and perfectly silly-looking lanyard – that you’ve got on too.
Amen to this whole post. Thanks so much.
Re: “When I meet people at networking events, my burning curiosity isn’t: What can you do for me? It is: What are you passionate about?” This totally resonates. Lately I’ve been feeling more and more that people who do flock to my in-box are the ‘What can you do for me?” types, and it’s wearing me out that folks want and expect me to give them all so much. I am always trying to turn the conversation the other way, be encouraging, access-enabling, and by example, showing folks how to go about “getting” the stuff we need as artists. I need another way otherwise I’m just going to wear myself out. I’ve proposed to PAWA a submissions workshop – how to submit your work for publication workshop. Hopefully more on this sooner rather than later. Thanks again.
Thanks Barbara! So glad you’ll be giving a class in this! All you writers out there in the Bay Area, take note: http://www.barbarajanereyes.com/2011/06/23/07302011-pawa-workshop-on-how-to-submit-your-work-for-publication/